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Sunday, February 3, 2013
AS TOLD BY THAT GUY: CAN I CALL YOU MAYBE?
Women deserve more attention miss fair lady rambled on, as the taxi rolled towards the flat hostels were she resided. For all those who don’t know flats is a cluster of buildings allocated to females which is located just outside the University of Nigeria school gates, near a popular party venue called “JIVES”. It was one of those hostels that was literarily forgotten by the school authoritiees and was only allocated when all the quality female hostels inside the main university were fully occupied.
As, pa some one looking for something, I turned an attentive listener as she gallantly made her point, pausing at intervals to respond to incoming messages from her BBM… We finally arrived at the hostels and she alighted, though my abode was still quite a distance away I decided to drop there to the amazement of the greedy driver. Helping unload her obviously heavy luggage’s at the expense of my “Ghana must go” bags which lay helplessly in the dust. Not withstanding the peeping eyes and curious minds from the windows above, I literally helped her carry her bags up to her hostel in block C! choiii!!! Boy-boy things naw, popularly called “SERVICE” in students parlance. Even though I was super embarrassed, the heavenly hope of getting her phone number and maybe even dating her consoled my timid mind. Done with the menial job, I proceeded to ask her for her number… guess what she replied me…. “I don’t give my number to strangers!” strangers ko? After all my hardwork and investment? I just pretended like I never heard what she had said before, and in a bid of confidence stirred up by sincere frustration I asked her why she classified me as a stranger. Guess what? Hmmmm! She told me I didn’t even know her name yet I wanted her phone so badly…. Nnna mehn!!! I just discovered my BLEEP UP! All these things were happening near the staircase at Block C oh, and I guess some “aproko” girls on the ground floor were obviously listening in on our little “convo”, as they kept popping in and out of their rooms repeatedly, like rats irritated by smoke for no just cause.
For where?! I didn’t even send sef, I sharpedly rephrased my question asking her for her name in the sweetest, most phonetic voice I could conjure and with a timid smile plastered on my round face. She obliged and told me her name was Blessing, and even went further to inform me that she was a final year student of the department of Political Science (without me asking her that one o). At hearing final year student of… LIVER cut me! Choiiii! She was obviously more than my level, me a mere second year engine boy, anyways I wasn’t in the mood to back down as I didn’t disclose my year of study to her. Infact, I carefully evaded that question by cunningly being the questioner instead of the other way round. FINALLY sha after all the forming, I got the PRICE “HER PHONE NUMNER” it was an AIRTEL LINE (*sad face* because of the extra phone cost). We spent a few more minutes chatting, and I felt like a champion as I trotted back to were my “Ghana must go” bags lay lonely in the dust, having received a hand shake from blessing (who had refused me the much desired hug).
Wahala dey!!! By the time I got back to the luggages, I met fierce but local looking school security men who were apprehensive as to whether “BOKO HARAM” had abandoned a bag of bombs in thier dear university campus, like play… like play, Just because of Woman I had to sign an undertaken at the school security office that I was not a SUCIDE BOMBER but a BONIFIDE STUDENT with good academic record, not to mention having to carry the dusty bag on my head for the about five minutes walk to my lodge at Onuiyi which was glaringly embarrassing but thank God for creating DARKNESS during the NIGHT, Blessing who I have so hussled for might have seen me and that would be the end of IT! Thanks for reading… see you next week!